32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Oh god it's open bar.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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