i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
