Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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