My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
