I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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