sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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