i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
