girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
