I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
