Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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