i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
where am i from again
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
