last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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