Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
