you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
