I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize