i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
