we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
