my mouth tastes like poor choices
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
