accomplished twins. life is a go
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
