& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
