just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
