She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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