you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
