Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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