there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was like eating out sand paper
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
whose parrot is this?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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