no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
