Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
