Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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