Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
