Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
