no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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