Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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