who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
