guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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