It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When did angry sex become our thing?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
