Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Panties = found
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