I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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