Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
