I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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