this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
