wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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