they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
