TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
