he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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