I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
