3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
