8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
