Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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