Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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