It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
People in love make me want to vomit
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
