Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
