We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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