God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
be right there i have to get my cape
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize