for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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