We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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