another moral hangover. fuck.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize