Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
