Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
