I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize