i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
