Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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