Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
